Moment of truth

My weight issues started in my early teens - working mom, ailing father and the only child left to her own devices to feed herself. I ate whatever was available which was mostly processed carbs and fat. Cooking habits at my house didn't help either - we would use loads of hydrogenated oil in cooking. Fruits were the only positive habit I picked up from my childhood.

By the time I reached high school I was overweight and extremely conscious of the fact. I started walks, playing badminton and even yoga. They all helped ensure that I don’t gain any more weight but since my food habits were still bad, no pounds ever came off. By the time I finished graduation, I was constantly suffering from pain in the neck and shoulders which was diagnosed as Cervical Spondylitis. I would pop in occasional ibuprofen and manage the rest with yoga. 

During my post graduation days when I was struggling with subjects like Microeconomics and Operations Research, being fit or healthy was the last thing on my mind. Towards the end of first year of MBA, I went through a bad time personally and started focusing on fitness to take my mind off other issues. Slowly I started to feel better - both mentally and physically. 

The second year was worse due to load of more papers in 4th trimester and pressure of placements. I started relying on alcohol to get through the really bad days...there were bad days and there were really bad days. I passed out of b-school in a year where economy was down and jobs in financial sector were not easy to find. 

My first job, through campus placement, was in an alien city with a pittance for salary. Long commute, atleast 6 days a week of work - sometimes even 7 days a week, no time to cook - let alone exercise. All this added to my health issues especially because I ate wrong food at wrong times. I finally ended up quitting the job and moving to another city for a new one.

In the new city I was staying with friends, commute was minimal and it was 5 days a week of work (at least initially) we got time to cook and have 3 good meals a day. But my body wasn't ready for this increased food intake. I started gaining weight at a crazy rate (I gained 16 pounds in 2 months). So at the age of 23 I was close to being obese, couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without panting and was constantly tired. 

Till then I didn't know I had a thyroid problem, but I knew I need to do something so I joined a gym. I would eat per their diet plan, workout 2 hours a day and still wouldn't lose weight. I added swimming and aerobics to my regimen. I did see some results but nothing to write home about. Till now I hadn't seen an endocrinologist in spite of repeat suggestions from my trainer and dietician. 

Finally after 6 months of struggle and another 10 pounds of weight gain, I met a doctor and of course we found the thyroid issue and started treating it. However by that time I was working 6.5 days a week again and my food habits had reached a new low. I had no time to work out (or atleast that's what I told myself), I hated doing anything on my only day off and food was the only thing that provided me with a feeling of happiness. Yes...I was eating for comfort and I didn't know about it at that time.

I lived in this land of denial for another 18 months. My eyes opened for the first time when I saw my pictures after a vacation trip. I was 200+ pounds at a height of less than 5 feet. At the age where most folks are gearing up to enjoy life with the new found financial freedom, all I could think of was when I will get to lie down and rest! I should have been partying, travelling, having fun but everything felt like a torture - every step I would take was painful, every stair I walked felt like climbing 10 floors, and every household chore left me breathless. 

I was morbidly obese and I couldn't deny the truth any more. That is when I decided to do something about it. It has been exactly 14 years since that moment of truth. I have been through various diets and exercise regimes in this period and have learnt a lot about their impact on our body. The next few posts will talk about what I learnt in detail, may be someone else can benefit from the mistakes I committed :)